I love being a dad.  Might be the best thing ever and the hardest thing ever at the same time.
I have three sons. ¬†Tomorrow, my oldest starts third grade and my second starts kindergarten. ¬†That’s my third son in the picture. ¬†He’s got a few years yet. ¬†My boys are the apple of my eye. ¬†Each of these guys is a deep ocean of personality. ¬†Their waters, brimming with life, are filled by the Creator Himself. ¬†Their waves of words and creativity wash over my wife and I from dawn till dusk like warm breakers on a weathered shore.
But that’s the hard thing too. ¬†These deep oceans of personality are mine to travel, mine to discover. ¬†I set sail and then I dive. ¬†I decipher their currents, and I direct their courses. ¬†This is the wildest and most demanding expedition on earth. ¬†Even their sweet little waves that break against my shore are constantly taking pieces of me with them wherever they go. ¬†This is the real deal. ¬†This is fatherhood. ¬†And it could be the best thing and the hardest thing ever at the same time.
I think God likes it that way.  I think He wants us to remember that all of human history, and all of space and time, is centered around a Father-Son relationship.
Sadly, not everyone likes to see things that way though. ¬†I recently read a blog post in which a new book was being promoted. ¬†The book is about the fatherless crisis in our culture and how to bring the hope of the Heavenly Father to a generation that has been let down by no-show dads. ¬†Sounds awesome. ¬†So I pre-ordered the book. ¬†Then I scrolled down to read what people were saying in their responses to the post. ¬†So many heartbreaking stories. ¬†I couldn’t stop thinking of Psalm 27:10 – “For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in.”
Suddenly one response caught my eye. ¬†I instantly felt a different kind of heartbreak. ¬†Someone by the name of “Xtine” was actually trying to dismantle the reality and value of biblical fatherhood. ¬†She didn’t like fatherlessness being called a crisis. ¬†She felt like one mom or two dads are just as fine. ¬†She even went so far as to say, “I would suggest that fathers, scientifically speaking, are not necessary beyond the initial inception.” ¬†I had to chime in. ¬†Not because I am one. ¬†But because a Father gave up His beloved Son to rescue humanity and rise from the dead so that the Son would ultimately return to the Father’s right hand and reign over all the cosmos in submission to His Father forever. ¬†You can read the full post in context¬†here if you like.
Of course, we all know there are tons of single parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends out there victoriously raising future US presidential candidates. ¬†We wholeheartedly applaud their labors of love. ¬†Parenting is a tough job, and somebody’s gotta do it. ¬†Obviously, this isn’t about single parenthood. ¬†This is about humanity upholding a biblical worldview. ¬†The only real worldview. ¬†So to Xtine and others who share her fairly new perspective, something needs to be said.
I‚Äôm convinced that Xtine‚Äôs suggestion that fathers are unnecessary beyond inception stands in hollow defiance against… (1) the real-life situations of many we personally know and love, (2) the big picture reality of the historic human demographic, and not to mention (3) the culturally-transcendant, millenia-tested biblical model of fatherhood spelled out for us by Jesus Himself in the eyewitness accounts about his relationship with his own Father.
I suppose, “scientifically speaking”, no one needs anything from a father other than his sperm (or, for that matter, anything from a mother other than her egg and abdomen for 40 weeks) in order to be alive and grow and become somebody someday. ¬†But to stand on such low ground and try to shout up into higher conversations about human relationship, stewardship, and worship is, simply put, to chase the wind. ¬†Thankfully for us all, being human is more than a scientific progression. ¬†It is the divine project. ¬†Created in the image of deity. ¬†Called to fill creation with divine relationship and expression. ¬†Having been granted the divine image, it’s now our unique privilege to express divine relation and exchange.
It’s amazing to me – out of the countless perspectives on humanity, the highest perspective of them all ends up being the reality. ¬†God will heal and renew the whole universe in order to provide a massive framework in which He will heal and renew humanity for Himself, starting with His Son and ending with sons and daughters from every tribe and tongue. ¬†This is a completely relationally-driven cosmos-wide redemption. ¬†And the best part for us now (this is serious reason for celebration!) is that we are called by the Redeemer Himself to reflect His massive redemptive story into our homes, through our own stories. ¬†Neither fatherhood, motherhood, heterosexual parenthood, nor biological or adopted sonhood or daughterhood are mere incidental or interchangeable cultural suggestions. ¬†They are earthly orders of heavenly realities. ¬†Humanity finds its niche within the framework of God’s Word. ¬†When fathers love their children, a flash of heaven’s light hits planet earth. ¬†It’s probably the best thing ever and the hardest thing ever at the same time. ¬†I love being a dad.
I’m sitting in my studio reading Isaiah. This past weekend is a blur in my brain. I saw the Lord work powerfully in his church. I saw Japan. I had an important meeting on Saturday. The whole world is mourning now. I feel heavy and urgent and kind of sick. I’m praying a lot. I just hit the end of Isaiah 39 and almost cried.
